My Life is a Series of Clumsy Events

I’m clumsy there is no denying that. I can walk into a chair that is in plain sight, like straight into it not just clip the side as I try to walk past it.
I think the worst thing about my complete lack of spacial awareness is that work as a waitress on weekends, a job that really requires you to have some sort of balance. The reason I bring this up is due to the particularly clumsy day that I had today. Plus side I only broke one shot glass, down side I broke a shot glass.
This wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t smashed my favourite glass last night, or dropped a full bottle of milk all over the kitchen floor last week because I misjudged where the table was, or fallen down the stairs on Thursday when me and my sister went to see McBusted. I just seem to be incapable of not embarrassing myself.
I remember reading on twitter sometime ago that stairs kill a lot of people a year…vague I know but surely this means I am not alone in my clumsiness? There are others out there who punch shelves instead of reaching the item they were aiming for, others who miss the door handle and end up almost falling into the door instead of opening it and others who try to gracefully walk through a bus and instead are sent hurtling down the middle of the seats like a pram on a hill.
My life could be lain out in a series of clumsy event leading up until right now where I opened the kitchen door and hit the glass I was carrying, luckily this one remains intact. Sometimes I am scared to leave my bed for fear of the impending clumsy doom that awaits me in the wider world, but then better a clumsy life than a boring one.

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